Observation 46: There is no proper terminology to describe the phenomenon of the female douchebag.

I propose “baguette.”

Observation 45: I don’t know when to shut up.

That’s why I’ve taken to doing a bit of freelance music writing in addition to the 60+ hours a week I spend doing salary-based advertising copywriting. Go figure.

Shameless self-promotion in 3, 2, 1…

Go read my first Delorean review for Tiny Mix Tapes of Doo Rag’s 1996 album ‘What We Do’ here:

http://www.tinymixtapes.com/Doo-Rag

You can also read an entry I wrote about them in this here blog, if you’re particularly curious:

Observation 27: This is the best use for a bunch of garbage that I have ever seen.

Thanks for stopping by, y’all.

Back to the grind now.

Observation 44: The only thing worse than the Renaissance period is people who are really into the Renaissance period.

Observation 43: The best thing about New York City is not the limitless culture or unfettered opportunity.

But instead, the complete lack of snakes indigenous to the region.

Admittedly, I really, really hate snakes.

Observation 42: Quality Meat would make a good name for a deli.

Or a classy porn magazine.

Observation 41: Sometimes the things I contemplate sound like the titles of articles from McSweeney’s.

Today’s example:

A list of plausible reasons why my former college professor may have decided to de-friend me on Facebook.

The next inevitable installment:

Uncomfortable e-mails sent by a college professor to his former student to explain his decision to de-friend her on Facebook, sent only after he realizes that she blogged about the incident.

Observation 40: There’s only one surefire way to a girl’s heart.

A hand-decorated mix CD that kicks off with the Mariah Carey song, “Hero.”

Likewise, if track two is “Chuck” by Harry Pussy, she’s yours for life.

Observation 39: The amount of information someone is willing to share on Facebook is generally inversely proportionate to the amount of information I want to know about said person.

Even if your spirit animal is an Eagle, you would have been ODB in the Wu Tang Clan, your top five favorite albums all feature the musical stylings of Scott Stapp, your celebrity boyfriend is Will Smith, you can’t leave home with your zombie killing spray, you’re Bumbledore in the Harry Potter series, and you’re currently “is drinking absinthe off the bosom of a most hospitable woman in a most inhospitable unnamed nation.”

Okay, maybe I’m interested in hearing about that last thing.

Observation 38: Funny home video shows owe their lasting power to one simple truth.

Watching white people injure themselves is funny.

(Also, the undying legacy of Bob Saget.)

Observation 37: The speed bump is the most inadequate of all traffic regulation devices.

For no matter how hard it dreams, it will never be a stop sign.