Observation 52: The person who found this blog by searching for “CENTAUR PORN” is the best person ever.

Seriously. Reveal yourself to the world. I want to be your new best friend.

Observation 51: It’s time to evaluate my priorities.

Today, at 7PM, at work, the fire alarm went off.

And then it kept going off. For 20 minutes.

What did I do?

I continued to dilligently write the zit cream copy I’d been putting off all day.

And when the fire trucks’ sirens started to whirr outside? And the fire marshall came over the intercom to state that we should remain calm while they investigated?

I kept writing the zit cream copy.

And then I had a breakthrough:

Either the fire drills of my youth were counter-productive, or I need a new life. ASAP.